Heads Will Roll At The Cotton Bowl

By Anthony Casson

It’s back! The Red River Rivalry is back!

Hopefully you know at least something about this friggin huge game (formerly the Red River Shootout), but if you don’t, here are a few things that are good to remember. You’ll have folks thinkin’ you’re an RRR-pro in a jiffy!

Who the heck plays this game?

– This isn’t a game for sissies. No, this is a game for two extreme, college football programs; the University of Texas Longhorns and the University of Oklahoma Sooners.

Where is this ‘friggin game’ played?

– Hey! Don’t mock me! The bloody battle is currently played at the Cotton Bowl in Dallas, Texas. It’s been that way since 1932. Dallas held the site starting in 1912, but there were a few games played elsewhere. Dallas is chosen as a “neutral site”, because of it’s central location between UT (Austin, TX) and OU (Norman, OK).

Wow! 1912, huh? Did they play before that?

– There’s that interest I was tryin’ to spark! And YES! The two schools have played since 1900.

Interesting…so who holds the better record?

– I’m quite glad you mentioned this. Actually, the Texas Longhorns hold the series lead over the…ugh…Sooners, 58-40-5. This will change Saturday though…

Is it a pretty friendly rivalry?

– HA! OH YOU DEAR, DEAR SOUL! ‘Friendly’ is most certainly not the correct answer. How do you THINK a cross-boarder rivalry goes? With cheerful hugging, loving, and maybe some motorboat action? Hell no! This is about pain! This is about maintaining pride and ruining the other’s! This is a mid-season championship!! Burnt orange and white, crimson and cream…each blood will flow across the grid iron! The victor loses the least!

….Can you, like, calm down?

– Yes…sorry.

Okay, is there anything else I should know?

– Yes. The game is always during the State Fair of Texas, home to corny dogs, fried Oreos, and anything else interesting you can imagine! You’ll basically have time to eat, party next to Big Tex, and die on the gigantic ferris wheel, the Texas Star. Write your Will while you still can.

Man, this doesn’t seem like TOO much to remember.

– Oh, this is just the basic stuff! I’d rather you watch the game Saturday (12PM EASTERN) and learn about the rest yourself! Trust me, those commentators will give you PLENTY of goodies to think about.

SWEET! THANKS, ANTHONY! YOU’RE THE GREATEST!

– No problem, friend. No problem.

Thanks for the picture Kid-I-Don't-Know

Thanks for the picture Kid-I-Don't-Know

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